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Saving the World on a Saturday

On Saturday, November 19th, the world water supply was secured, Zika virus was cured by electing Mark Cuban a deity (albeit with 80% of the world population dying as an unforeseen side effect), the USSR and USA resolved the Cuban Missile Crisis by firebombing Cuba and occupying it with American troops, then nuking China due to dysentery, and the role of women in Middle Eastern conflicts was discussed through rap battling.

No, it wasn’t a meeting of the Avengers, it was ShakerMUN, the inaugural Model United Nations conference hosted by Shaker’s Model UN Club. With almost fifty students from Shaker, Guilderland, and Bethlehem High Schools, delegates met in three committees to discuss geopolitical issues, from past to present.

The World Health Organization first successfully and pragmatically combatted the issue of water contamination across the world by developing a program to educate people about its causes and risks and incentivizing companies to cut down on industrial waste, then adopting a mosquito zapper funded by Mark Cuban on Shark Tank (electing him a god on the way) which killed off the population of Zika-carrying mosquitoes and, unfortunately, billions of people.

In the Commission of the Status of Women, delegates had a lot of constructive debate on how to efficiently and effectively promote the equal treatment of women in education. Then, they rap battled over women’s role in Middle Eastern conflict. Delegates represented countries ranging from the US to Kenya to Saudi Arabia.

ShakerMUN also boasted a specialized committee on the Cuban Missile Crisis, with delegates representing military and political figures from both sides of the Cold War. The outcome didn’t exactly follow history, but was very interesting nonetheless as the US and USSR, amazingly enough, became allies in order to turn their collective powers upon Cuba. Nikita Kruschev, Premier of the USSR, was executed in the process, his replacement fled to China to become a rice farmer, and the Russian city of Vladivostok changed hands too many times to count. By the time the conference ended, the world was stuck in a nuclear winter, but hey, the Cuban Missile Crisis was resolved!

After a very productive day of informed debate in each committee, resolutions on how to fix these problems were passed. ShakerMUN allowed students to inhabit a role of a country in the very large context of the UN; each had to represent that country’s unique viewpoints on the topics and how each would realistically react to what others said in the UN. Overall, the conference was a huge success, and the officers of Model UN would like to thank their advisors, Ms.Stanton and Ms.Stupp, along with the students and advisors from Bethlehem and Guilderland and everyone else who made the conference possible. Hopefully, there are many more years of saving the world to come.